导语：说相声是非常有趣的，看相声总能够让我们开怀大笑，下面一起去欣赏小编为你分享的 搞笑相声简短英语剧本吧！

　　搞笑相声简短英语剧本1

　　A: "old X, I ask you to smile good or cry good?"

　　B: "who doesn't know that laughing is better than crying!"

　　A: "not really!"

　　B: "why not?"

　　A: "the most beautiful and exciting person in the world is the first cry of a born baby. (learn male, baby cry) 'wow, wow, wow. Whoa, whoa, whoa... '"

　　B: "good, good, good, cry, cry better than smile!"

　　A: "you don't take the heart against the heart, have you seen a newborn baby smile?"

　　B: "no. Since the beginning of human beings, we have never heard of laughing from the belly of the mother. Crying is congenital, not learning; It takes learning and practice to laugh. If you come out of your life, you will laugh, and you will not confuse your parents and your parents!

　　A: "you haven't seen it, haven't heard of it, don't have it. Do you ask the audience and the audience?"

　　B: "everybody say have?"

　　A: "look, that says yes."

　　B: "you learn?"

　　A: "wahaha, wahaha, breast-feeding?"

　　B: "the child is a genius!"

　　A: "wahaha, wahaha, safety is not safe? I want to eat mother's milk!"

　　B: "does it still cry?"

　　A: "look, those old people also shed tears!"

　　B: "why?"

　　A: "when people are old, they cry without tears.

　　B: "that doesn't still smile!"

　　A: "because laughing is better than crying."

　　B: "you are two sides, which is good?"

　　A: "laugh or cry, it is the outward expression of the feeling."

　　B: "that's!"

　　A: "there is an idiom that is crying and laughing. Sometimes I want to laugh but cry. I want to cry but laugh!

　　B: "I don't believe it!"

　　A: "don't believe me."

　　B: "how?"

　　A: "XXX was a wonderful performance in the cross talk show. The audience applauded and passed the judges' decision to win the title of the cross talk contest."

　　B: "thank you, thank you, it's a dream come true! You know how hard it is! Thank my father, thank my mother, thank the leader, thank the audience, thank the media, thank the judges, thank... "

　　A: "look, cry!"

　　B: "is it crying? This is' tears of joy '!

　　甲：“老X啊，我问你是笑好还是哭好？”

　　乙：“谁不知道笑比哭好！”

　　甲：“不见得！”

　　乙：“怎么不见得？”

　　甲：“世间最美妙、最激动人的是出生婴儿的第一声啼哭。（学男、女婴哭）‘哇、哇、哇；哇、哇、哇……’”

　　乙：“好、好、好，哭吧、哭比笑好！”

　　甲：“你别口服心不服，你见过刚出生的婴儿有笑的吗？”

　　乙：“没有。自有人类以来，古今中外都没听说过刚从娘肚子出来就笑的。哭是先天性的，不用学；笑要靠后天学习、练习。如果一生出来就会笑，还不把爹娘和接生的吓晕！”

　　甲：“你没见过、没听说过不见得就没有，你问问观众和听众有没有？”

　　乙：“大家说有吗？”

　　甲：“看，那位说有。”

　　乙：“你学学？”

　　甲：“哇哈哈、哇哈哈、要母乳喂养啊？”

　　乙：“这孩子是天才呀！”

　　甲：“哇哈哈、哇哈哈、安全不安全？我要吃妈妈的奶呀！”

　　乙：“这不还是哭吗？”

　　甲：“你看，那几位老人也流泪啦！”

　　乙：“为什嘛？”

　　甲：“人一上了年纪，哭无泪，笑才有泪。”

　　乙：“那不还是笑嘛！”

　　甲：“因为笑比哭好。”

　　乙：“你是两面派，到底哪个好？”

　　甲：“笑也好，哭也罢，都是感情的外在表现。”

　　乙：“那是！”

　　甲：“有个成语叫哭笑不得，有时本想笑却哭啦；本想哭却笑啦！”

　　乙：“我不信！”

　　甲：“不信咱试试。”

　　乙：“怎么试？”

　　甲：“xxx在这次相声表演中精彩绝伦，观众掌声雷动，经评委裁决，荣获相声大赛总冠军。”

　　乙：“谢谢、谢谢、梦想成真啦！（抹眼泪）你知道多么多么的不容易呀！谢我爹、谢我娘、谢领导、谢观众、谢媒体、谢评委、谢……”

　　甲：“看看，哭了吧！”

　　乙：“这是哭吗？这是‘喜极而泣’！”

　　搞笑相声简短英语剧本2

　　A: can you answer my question in one word?

　　B: can!!!!

　　A: just, really, in a word. I ask you, are you going to the library today?

　　B: would you like to go.

　　A: are you reading?

　　B: yes.

　　A: don't you read the newspaper?

　　B: no.

　　A: why do you use two more words? You can answer: no.

　　B: oh, "no" means no, no, no, it's funny!

　　A: there are so many interesting words in Chinese characters! I ask you, what is the opposite of "positive"?

　　B: not right.

　　A: why do you answer with two more? You should answer "skew".

　　B: I answered well, "no" and "positive" combined, not "crooked"?

　　A: you're right. I ask you, what is the opposite of "good"?

　　B: "bad", "no" and "good", ok?

　　A: there is progress.

　　B: you won't praise me, I'm far more ashamed than you!

　　A: gee, I just wanted to ask you what the antonym of "want" is, and you said it yourself.

　　B: what did I say?

　　A: "don't"! "Don't" is a combination of "no" and "use". This is the meeting.

　　B: I see, the words that we talked about are all meaning.

　　A: you just know!

　　甲：你能用一个字回答我的问话吗？

　　乙：能！

　　甲：干脆，真用一个字作答。我问你，你今天去图书室吗？

　　乙：去。

　　甲：是去看书吗？

　　乙：是。

　　甲：不是去看报吧？

　　乙：不是。

　　甲：怎么又用两个字作答啦？你可以这样回答：“否”。

　　乙：噢，“口”说“不”为“否”，表示不是，真有趣！

　　甲：汉字中像这样有趣的字还多呢！我问你，“正”的反义词是什么？

　　乙：不正。

　　甲：你怎么又用两个宇回答啦？你应回答“歪”。

　　乙：我回答得也不错啊，“不”与“正”组合起来，不就是“歪”吗？

　　甲：算你有理。我问你，“好”的反义词是什么？

　　乙：“孬”，“不”与“好”组成的字，可以吧？

　　甲：有长进。

　　乙：你就“甭”夸我了，我比你还羞得远呢！

　　甲：咦，我刚想问你，“要”的反义词是什么，你就自己说出来了。

　　乙：我说什么啦？

　　甲：“甭”呀！“甭”是“不”与“用”的合体字，表示不要。这是会意宇。

　　乙：我明白了，原来我们谈的这些字都是会意宇呀！

　　甲：你才知道啊！

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